Thanksgiving Ingratitude
My son has a really good friend, and I’m kind of casually friendly with the kid’s parents. They’re pretty cool, and I once housesat/kidsat for them for a few days.
Anyhoo, they invited us for Thanksgiving. Which is nice, until I got to the part of the voicemail where the mom explains that they always invite other people who don’t have somewhere else to go, etc.
Um, I’m sorry, nice offer, but I’m not a charity project. My family is no less a family because we don’t have a daddy in the house. I don’t need “somewhere else to go,” because I have a home. I don’t have to assemble with a shitload of people for it to be a valid Thanksgiving event.
Also, I’m always worried about other people’s Thanksgivings. What if they say grace? What if there’s no alcohol? What if they do that thing where they go around the table and say what they’re thankful for? What if they serve tofurkey instead of turkey? No thanks to all of the above.
Jebus. I know I shouldn’t be so touchy about it, but… blurg.
Corina said,
November 15, 2007 at 2:03 pm
I agree! I wouldn’t go either. I’ve been to friends’ Thanksgiving, Christmas and Easter celebrations since my divorce. It has always been good but it has never been phrased the way it was with you and this kid’s mom. How completely thoughtless of her.
Have your holiday with your family. It’s better that way. And if you’re up my way, come have a holiday with us! There is always more than enough to go around and the best part is that it is always offered with open arms and hearts, not with charity or thoughtlessness.
Happy Thanksgiving!
heathenly said,
November 15, 2007 at 2:07 pm
Thanks, Corina! I know she didn’t mean it to sound “like that,” but… yeah. I get tired of Single Mom Pity.
I’ll stop by! It sounds like a fun place to be.
Stevo said,
November 15, 2007 at 2:16 pm
Thoughtless.
Your worries are justified. When someone trots out the “What are you thankful for” dealio I always respond with “I’m glad this is almost over. Pass the wine.”
Jump on a plane and spend Thanksgiving with me (although Canada celebrates Thanksgiving at its proper time, October). Fried chicken, cigarettes and China’s version of Malt Liquor, what could be better? No pity from me, only reverence.
heathenly said,
November 15, 2007 at 2:19 pm
I’m so there, Steve. You’re a man who understands my complex needs: cheap alcohol, nicotine, and fried foods. w00t!
I really, really hate that whole schmaltzy “What I’m Thankful For” thing. I’m bitter, not thankful. Do people know anything about me??
At least you get me, Steve.
antimother said,
November 15, 2007 at 3:01 pm
What if they blow the joint up trying to deep fry a turkey?
heathenly said,
November 15, 2007 at 3:14 pm
THAT might be worth seeing.
Wanda Rizzuto said,
November 15, 2007 at 5:27 pm
Wanna come to my house? I’ll let you serve cider and baste my turkey.
pmousse said,
November 15, 2007 at 6:00 pm
Agreed, I wouldn’t go, either. She probably didn’t mean to say it that way, but no one needs condescension. Hey… you’re sure getting a lot of invitations here! Personally, I’m glad to have Canadian Thanksgiving over with. I’m grateful for plenty of things, but having to produce a list on demand … yuck.
davidrochester said,
November 15, 2007 at 6:34 pm
Wording is everything.
I used to have friends who would do something similar, only they called it the “I Hate My Fucking Family Gathering,” and invited people who just wanted an excuse not to go somewhere else and hang out with relatives. I loved it. The fact that the wife was a culinary institute graduate didn’t hurt, either.
heathenly said,
November 15, 2007 at 6:48 pm
You’ll let me baste your turkey, Wanda? Sounds… dirty. Mr. Rizzuto must be getting excited at the thought. You know how that man is…
pmousse, you got it. I hate having to frantically think of something plausible and not trite. It’s painful.
David, funny you should mention that… back when I was partnered, my boyfriend and I would take the kids out of town for Thanksgiving to escape the family bullshit. Always at least two different household that expected us to show up. We preferred out of town, eating in a restaurant, not cleaning any dishes. It was a good system.
teaspoon said,
November 15, 2007 at 7:45 pm
1) Ouch. That was rude. I’m sorry that they were so condescending. 2) I’d invite you to my Thanksgiving, but it looks like you’ve got plenty of invitations already. This will be the first time I’ve hosted a Thanksgiving at my house (well, C’s house actually) and I could sure use some help. 3) I’m a vegetarian, and my mother and I tried the Tofurkey thing one year. So not worth it. I’m perfectly happy just eating potatoes, yams, bread, stuffing (sometimes), cranberry sauce, beans, pumpkin pie, etc, and drinking lots of whatever alcoholic beverage is being offered. Who needs turkey? I certainly don’t need a substitute that tastes like congealed soy sauce (which is pretty much what it is).
heathenly said,
November 15, 2007 at 8:07 pm
Ha, I know what you mean. I think the best Thanksgiving dinner I ever attended was one at my (vegetarian) sister’s house. I’m all about the mashed potatoes and dessert. I might miss the gravy, though. Nah, I like mushroom gravy.
I’ve heard Tofurkey is gawdawful.
CJ said,
November 16, 2007 at 12:46 pm
Holy crap thats funny. I was just sitting at work, thinking about what to do for Thanksgiving and came across this site…why can’t I start my own Turkey Day ideas?? So…I plan on taking my litlte boys to do something good for others on that day, then maybe some bowling and who knows…maybe check out that new Bee movie, invite a friend over later after they are in bed and get drunk…haha. My family sux and always just sit around bitching and they don’t drink so how is that fun? Oh yeah…I had a lady the other day when she said something about my husband and I said…I don’t have one…she goes…I am so sorry….LOL…I asked why, who the fuck died?
heathenly said,
November 16, 2007 at 12:58 pm
Sounds like an excellent plan! Even though I know you’ll be sitting around all day, crying on the inside because you aint got no husband…
the little fluffy cat said,
November 16, 2007 at 1:04 pm
I have a system, it’s called Let My Sister-In-Law and Her Daughters Cook. I say go, because who wants to cook or drag children out to stand in line–and when they do the what are you thankful for thing, bat those big eyes of yours and say, “I’m thankful that when they separated me from my conjoined triplet sisters they managed to spare me some of the liver….oh yeah, and that they got our husbands…”
Beth said,
November 18, 2007 at 8:33 am
When I wasn’t sure I’d make it up to my sister’s place, I looked forward to the idea that I might get to cook with you and hang out with your tribe all day. Not because I didn’t have anyplace ELSE to go.
Which has happened – all pathetically husbandless, childless and petless (triple threat!), and not making enough money to do St. Bart’s with my fancy executive friends who don’t exist or get my jokes.
Anyway, I would’ve wanted to spend it with you because you’re my favorite and your kiddles rock the house.
That, and I looked forward to the commemorative t-shirt you’d have me donning so that all of our friends would understand just how karmically kickass you are:
I’D RATHER BE GROVELING FOR INDIRECT AFFECTION AT THE HEATHENLY HOUSE.
When I want you to come over and eat with me, on any given day, it’s cuz I like to rap with you and have a drinkie drink and read your texts messages lahl.
And I think this other lady hello just met you, if you dig.
tigereye said,
November 18, 2007 at 11:39 am
I’m just in shock that someone would take that tone with you. You’re about the least pitiable person I know! It sounded like you were being invited to Thanksgiving dinner at the soup kitchen.
supercrone said,
November 25, 2007 at 12:57 pm
Jackster! If you haven’t already done so (and if not, why not?!) rush right over to read my ‘Jolly Holiday” piece, here or at the other place. My recipe is absolutely, positively guaranteed to give you something to be thankful for. Swear to jebus.